No Is A Complete Sentence
When my 4-year-old son says no to me or vocalizes his disagreement on a matter, I ultimately welcome the difference in opinion (even when I would rather not) because all children, regardless of ability, should learn to advocate for themselves even when it means going against authority (parents, adults, etc.). Although we may be skeptical to give our kids choices and respect their decisions, doing so yields several benefits.
We practice this with Levi because he craves control as a growing “big kid“ and precocious child. Plus, it helps cultivate the characteristics we want him to embody.
We want him to be comfortable with saying no when setting boundaries.
We want him to be a free thinker.
We want him to know that his voice/opinion/thoughts matter.
We want him to be confident in his choices.
We want him to learn that saying no isn’t always bad and saying yes isn’t always good.
Our society accepts defiance in toddlers when they “say it like they mean it”, but that same agency should stay with us as we develop into each stage of life. As caretakers, we must be careful not to take away those moments of practice from our budding learners because our world NEEDS their unapologetic passion.
Think about it. It is unfair for me to expect my son to grow up to fight on behalf of the oppressed (or go after his dreams or maintain a healthy sense of self-efficacy) if I don’t empower and help balance his rebellious nature while he’s young. After all, taking risks to reap unimaginable awards takes some level of revolution. That’s why Terrible 2's Not So Terrible purposely praises that stage of childhood.
The way I see it, those who aren’t afraid to think and respond differently have the capability to improve the world!
NOTES FOR IMPLEMENTATION
- When giving choices, make sure you are in favor of either outcome. The goal is for all parties to be satisfied.
- Of course, your child’s safety is a top priority. Sometimes a choice is non-negotiable, but take your time to decipher which occasions require that designation.
